Thursday, August 05, 2004

First time..


It's been awhile since I've taken the time each day to write down my thoughts, and I have decided that I need to do there where its cleared a lot of my mind and conscious. Life, well. Life is going alright. Nothing amazing or horrible, but just run of the mill okay. My mom just had surgery and shes doing well, thank God. I felt as though these past few days I have morphed into the mother figure and she has taken mine, where I have waited on her hand and foot. She deserves it though. Doing what I have for her really has made me feel as though nursing is the path I should be taking. I believe I thoroughly will enjoy it.

Work sucks, I really dont like it for the most part. I love so many of the people I work with, so I think that is what keeps me going. I enjoy you know, making cakes, and decorating, but working in the stores with the younger kids is very tiring. Working 40 hours there a week feels like 100, especially when I work with people I dislike. I have already started looking for a second job, where 2 of the 3 DQ's close in the fall and I wont get enough hours to support myself. Then I am thinking that next summer I will work both jobs and bring in the cash, because I will need it.

Rick and I are doing alright. I have some issues with some of his habits and some of the items he holds on to. He says I should try to understand and I do try, but I cant try any more because that just doesnt work for me. Im so stubborn and so strong when it comes to things but with this issue, I just melt, want to cry, and I want to go back myself into a corner. I promise I am trying to fix my feelings, but feelings are exactly that, feelings. I cant just change them because I want them to change can I? Its complicated I guess, but then again, that is life for you. I love him, and will continue to love him, but I feel as though this has really made me put up a couple of walls again, and that really bothers me. Him and I will work it out I hope.

School starts up soon. I am right now trying to figure out my schedule. Damn. I signed up for the wrong class and the one I wanted to replace it with is full. Figures. If they make signing up for school so complicated, who says Im going to want to put forth the effort with the classes? Fuck school, let me just win Powerball.

Im out.


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