Thursday, June 30, 2005

nap needed

Its been 11 days and it has gone by fast! I have been out of school almost 2 months, man this sucks. But, to be honest, I havent had much of a summer anyways. Ive been working, and at one of my jobs Im in school learning.. having exams, taking practicals.. its just like I havent left school yet. Ive had a bit of a rough time with some of my friends this past week, which is really disheartening because I havent seen them and its hard. I miss everyone. I feel like I have no time to enjoy this summer. Some people say during the summer theyre bored.. and I cant imagine what that feels like right now. I have Sunday AND Monday off so Im hoping to catch up on my sleep and catch up on my tan.

I got my first exam back, an 87. Not too bad, 2nd highest in the class. Im finding myself to be completely drained when I get home. Its usually an 8+ hour day and then somedays I have to work at Charlies. I think the other girl Jen is going to take my Wednesday shift for me. Its only 3.5 hours and Im working over 40 anyways so I think I'll let her have it. She has no other job right now so she could use the money.

Being an employee of MaineGeneral I get a free gym membership!!! :) I went last night to one right down the road from me and it was a riot. I did the circuit training and they moved sooo fast. Its alright though, I figure I will go every other day. Yesterday I did all the machines and whatnot, tonight Im going to do some miles on the gazelle and then I'll go to the gym either tomorrow night or Saturday. Im working tomorrow until 8 and Saturday until 6 so we'll see. It makes going there a bit hard but I have the gazelle at home so I'll just use that on my between days.

Ive been a bit down lately. Its hard for me to admit that. Have you ever felt like you needed to scream at the top of your lungs to get out all of your frustration but you dont have the strength to do so? Working so much I honestly think has strained Rick and my relationship. Not from his end, he is extremely supportive and sweet with me but I feel like Im constantly snapping and being a bitch and I know I need to stop it but I dont know how. Its like.. Im really tired and have had a hard time working so much and studying and its almost as if I dont have time for anything or anyone else.

Inside of me I want more than anything to curl up with him on the couch and fall asleep in his arms, protected from everything around me in the world, but when I go near him I remember another bill I need to pay, or another chapter I need to read and all goes to hell in this world that I live in.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Happy Fathers Day.. and...

Happy Birthday Amy!! :) 20 years old! wooo! :)
Galactica Gal!
Today is fathers day.. :) Rick and I went down to Augusta like we do every Sunday and did laundry at his dads, talked to him a bit and then we went to Old Navy where I dropped some serious cash for him to get some new summer clothes. He didnt have much and I wanted him to be comfortable when the weather is warm. I bought him some new boxers, undershirts, 3 pairs of shorts, a new bathing suit, 2 tee shirts, a polo shirt, 3 button up short sleeve shirts, and a pair of sandals. He made out quite nicely I believe. Hes so friggin cute it sometimes boggles my mind! :)
We then went to my parents and gave my dad his gifts. We bought him 2 birdfeeders and the stand for them to hang on. My brother bought him another birdfeeder and a movie. My mom bought him these amazing windchimes and stand. As you can probably tell my dad is all about our backyard and the birds so he seemed delighted with our gifts. We hung out there, and my cousins Kristina, Katie, and Elizabeth dropped by for an hour or so. It was nice getting to see them because they are just growing up so fast, makes me feel old.
Rick and I came home and Rick finished mowing the lawn and I came upstairs and swept and vacuumed. We went to Walmart and got some soda and some other stuff and thats my recap for the day! Lovely huh. Now Im going to go iron some clothes and pick up a bit more around here. I want this place to be in okay shape before I start my new job on Tuesday. Tomorrow Rick and I both have off together so its going to be nice to spend 2 days in a row together.. where in the future, this will be a rare occasion. Im going to miss all the time we spend one on one but Im going to be making good money and there are bills to pay so this is where I need to be. Plus, I think I will like being a CNA. Some people say its the dirty work, and its true, it is, but Im helping people and thats all that matters to me.
BTW, Random note but Courtney and I are going to BSB!! :) I know, we are 20. its sad, but we wont be the oldest there, there will be parents! :) Im excited!

Thursday, June 16, 2005

its been a long couple of days

These past days have been extremely hectic... and I feel like I need another nap.

I had my interviews for the CNA trainee position, had my health screen, and I have to go back tomorrow to give more blood because my old doctors office cant fax my immunization records up because of the flood we had a month or so back. Lovely. But, on a good note, I did get the job and I start the 21st :) Im excited. When I got the definite yes, I called DQ and gave them the ole heave ho and it felt very good :) Im glad to be out of that place!!!

So last Saturday I brought Ricks car in for an oil change and we found out that there were a couple of problems in it that would be rather costly.. so Rick decided that he wanted to just get rid of it. Him, Jen, and I spent the whole day at Charlies (my afternoon off mind you) and he found this cute red ford ranger he wanted... along with a couple of other vehicles. We did the paper work and the payment would have been 319 so we decided to leave Charlies and see if we could get Rick a co-signer because thats a lot of money for a car payment a month. That night we talked to my parents, who said no because they had to take out something for Joel and I to go to college next year, Ricks sister cant right now, and Ricks grandmother wouldnt do it either. We were out of family and it seemed hopeless because Rick couldnt get a loan even to fix his car. It sucks being young and not having enough income to sign for a large loan. So Monday comes along.. and Ricks salesman Darren calls saying that he needs a cosigner or it wont go through.. so Rick decides to ask his Dad.. who doesnt have sufficient credit.. and by a miracle of God, it went through. Rick ended up getting a 2001 blue Ford Ranger. Its not a huge huge truck so it should be okay with gas. I was worried about that because with a truck, insurance will bump up, but I was hoping his gas mileage for the truck would be alright. I think it will be. His payments right now are super high but next month hes going in to refinance it! Im happy hes happy because the past couple of days he was so down... and I hate seeing my sweetie so sad, it just about broke my heart and my spirit.

Today Rick and I both have off together and Im going to make a good breakfast and we are going to clean this nasty place today. I start my CNA job next week so I would like to go there knowing my apartment is in okay shape.

Its almost noon.. I better get going.

Monday, June 06, 2005

summah summah

Summer is going by a little bit faster than I had hoped it would. I love the idea of just basking outside in the sun and relishing every moment of sunshine that hits my body.. however... my summer just isnt like that. Im working at Charlies and DQ and today I had an interview to be a CNA trainee which means I would be working 7-3, 4 days a week and would be getting paid to learn how to be a CNA. It seems pretty good, especially where I would have a guaranteed 32 hours a week when DQ cant give me shit for hours. I need the money, I need to pay rent, my car, cable, cell, bills bills bills, and the 6 hours they gave me this week wont even cover my gas. Its ridiculous. The interview I had today went alright and she wants me to go to another one tomorrow at 9:30 at the nursing home I would be working in as I was training so I think thats a good sign, especially where if she didnt like me she could tell me that she was not interested. Im hoping things work out. I would work 32 hours there and my 16 or 20 at Charlies. I think I might have to say bye to DQ.

Saturday Ricks cousin Matt graduated high school and we went to his graduation. So proud am I. Okay, that sounded like Yoda. Haha. Random. Anyways, it was nice, hot as hell in there, but it was good for us to go and support Matty. I brought an airhorn to blow when he got his diploma, people needed to know that Matt is the best cousin ever. Well, hes not my cousin, but hes Ricks and I love him. Hes a good kid. Im excited about next year. He will be going to school about 5 minutes away from our apartment so I have a feeling we will be seeing more of him. Its weird to think that the last one I know to graduate from high school is my brother, and that will be next year. The next round of graduations are the college ones. I feel like im aging faster then anything. Oh well. I think I like growing up.

Until next time...