Sunday, September 05, 2004

one of those days..

Today was an okay day I guess. I didnt have to work thanks to Joe, so this morning I made sure that I brought him some cookies that I baked for him last night. I was very happy about that.. but then as the day went on... it just seemed like I got more and more sad. I really didnt feel like being around anyone and I wanted to go to bed and sleep the whole day away. Everything that has been going on lately has just finally caught up with me and has just bogged me down emotionally. Rick has been amazing through it all, but I feel horrible because when Im sad he becomes worried that it is his fault, and its not. Rick, I love you. Its not you I promise.

Sometimes I wish I could just be happy all the time, not be this sad person that I feel has taken over me these past couple of days. Im not depressed.. well at least I dont think so, but I just have been down and Ive tried so hard to get back up and alright, but I havent quite reached that goal. Im still trying though. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Today I went to go see Wicker Park with my mom :) It was a blast, shes such an awesome lady. It was a great movie too so that was tres great. Josh Hartnett, mmm :) Besides the over amounts of hottie eye candy, the movie wasnt too bad and had me on the edge for a bit. Im so smart though, I pieced it all together. It was really nice though to spend some time with my mom, just her and I. It hasnt happened much lately, and Im glad that we spent time together today.

Tomorrow my Nana and Grampy are having a cookout around noon and my family is going and so arent we. Im not really looking forward to it, which must sound awful, but Im not. Its not that Im unhappy to see my family but as of late.. there has come this point that I just want it to be Rick and I some days. I dont think him and I have had one day that it has just been a 'date' day or something you know? I must sound dumb, especially where him and I are living together and we see each other constantly, but sometimes you need to do something special with one another, or do nothing more than watch movies and chill out all day you know?? I could be asking for too much.. who knows.

Well, I should get to bed...


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