Wednesday, September 01, 2010

who's going to catch me when i fall...?

Alot is running through my head.. thoughts... feelings.. emotions.. confusion. It literally is taking EVERYTHING out of me and I dont really think that anyone understands.

I get these waves of panic rush over me. I feel like I need 20 xanax just to get things to level out and I dont take it anymore. Cold water.. showers.. nothing is working. It is so frustrating. Things have been occuring at work that have completely stressed me out to the point where I am breaking down. One event has bogged me down but work itself is exacerbating my already confusing medical background. I try to explain that it isn't just this event that is breaking me down... but I literally am at the breaking point when it comes to work. I feel a mental breakdown occuring and it is going to happen at the worst moment, I just know it is going to.

I ask who's going to catch me when I fall... not because I think I'm going to fall but rather, I know I'm going to.

1 comment:

WildIrishRose33 said...

I may not know exactly what you are going through and feeling miss Jill... but I do know how hard it is to explain to people exactly what this job can do to you. :-( I have wicked anxiety issues when it comes to this place, I have to keep telling myself that I do this every day, and that I know what I'm doing... but I seriously feel like I want to scream when I leave the building at night. If you ever need someone to talk to or just vent to (or at, hehe) I'm here. Heck, you know where I work. :-P